


you make me feel like i (don't) matter

by Anonymous



Series: cb wrote something [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Skeppy, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Men Crying, No beta we die like jschlatt, Not Beta Read, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unrequited Love, bad likes quackity instead, bad's oblivious, i refuse to tag quackhalo because I'm already hurt enough, quackity is there i just don't directly mention him, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Red. That's all he saw. Red. Nothing else but red. It would've been beautiful if it weren't for the fact that it's coming out of his arm soaking the white pristine sheets he had on their shared bed.
Relationships: BadBoyHalo/Skeppy, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Series: cb wrote something [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165109
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41
Collections: Anonymous





	you make me feel like i (don't) matter

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to cope over something I don't understand so here it is. Please understand that my first language isn't english so the grammar and overall writing might be a little bit too barbaric so I'm sorry in advance. TW: non-graphic self harm

* * *

It broke his heart, it always does. No matter how many times he'd seen it it keeps breaking his heart into a million pieces. His heart would pound loudly against his ears, trying to break free from its boney prison but he doesn't let it out. No, not when he sees how much the other doesn't want him that way.

Skeppy had been Bad's best friend since that fateful day. Things went out a lot smoother than expected and the two became inseparable, of course that is, until now. Now, Skeppy watches from afar as his hands sweat from his intense stare towards the other two present in the scenery. 

His chest heaves heavily as he tries to contain the tears that threaten to slip out of the corner of his eyes and onto his flushed cheeks. He tried so hard to get the feeling numb but none of it is working.

Bad barely bats an eye on him- _hell,_ Bad doesn't even acknowledge his presence. He has been standing here for more than 5 minutes now and no acknowledgement from either the two was given to the diamond boy.

 _'You know it's your fault why he stopped paying attention to you.'_ His mind mocked, normally he'd shrugged it off but what unfolds here in the current situation sent a little too far for Skeppy's own liking. _'If you weren't so self-absorbed, he'd still be talking to you.'_ It continued to mock, he heaves with eyes going unfocused. _'You're a horrible person. You don't deserve love, you don't deserve_ _him._ _'_ He broke down. Soft whimpers came out of his quivering lips, the tears finally sliding out of the corner of his eyes.

He doesn't even bother muffling the noises he makes, he just turns around and leaves the scene paying no mind at the two whose attention garnered up on him. The demon literally shouting out his name but all that Skeppy heard was muffled blank noises that occupied his mind to no end.

His knees felt weak, every step he took felt like he was about to collapse on the ground. The ground was so uneven to him that Skeppy had to cling on to the surrounding trees to keep a stable balance. At a certain point, he almost tripped himself over for misplacing his hand on mistake by the smooth ridges of a tree.

The path soon became stable and even out though being smooth wasn't one of them. It was rocky to the core, a single misstep could cause a lot of problems for Skeppy especially since he had trouble trying to keep himself balanced- not to mention the lack of trees made it much more difficult for him to stabilise.

Desperate to just get over it and get to their— _his_ room _,_ he quickly dashed over to the door and onto the main entrance. It was empty, incredibly empty. Devoid of the bright light that was filled by their laughters that he and his best friend would make. It broke Skeppy's heart more, soon enough this will be the new normal of his life. He hates it.

He silently walked up stairs towards his room, the place eerily off putting and outright dreadful. The place was completely quiet save for his shallow breathing and soft padding against the wooden floor.

Entering inside, he was faced with a ruffled bed sheet. A clear sign that someone had been sleeping there and decided to leave it just like that. (Just like how Bad decided to mess with his emotions and leave all of a sudden.)

Shuddering, he slowly crept up the bed and laid there. Finally letting his mind become a mushy pile of cramped up emotions. The little voices that mocked him earlier only grew louder, being accompanied by that white noise that oh so annoy the diamond so much. His breath hitched and before he knew it, it was getting difficult to breath. Was he hyperventilating? He doesn't know, nothing is making sense to him anymore. If Bad was here— he's not here, he's never going to be here again —he'd be there to comfort Skeppy and try to cheer him up with soft little lullabies.

His hand slowly found itself sliding under the mattress. Coiling it's finger trying to grasp something from it. When he felt the cool metal that completely contrasted the bed's warm exterior, he knew he found what he was looking for.

The cool metal contradicts the warm mocha skin creating a new color of hue that somehow complements the brown palette. 

Red. That's all he saw. Red. Nothing else but red. It would've been beautiful if it weren't for the fact that it's coming out of his arm soaking the white pristine sheets he had on their shared bed.

Such a beautiful color and yet it was a complete double bagger to the diamond's eye. What was once a comforting color became the most eye vomiting color that he'd ever seen. It was simply too saturated, too bright for his own comfort.

Trying to desaturate the red a little, he carved some more to find the right shade of it to his eyes' liking. The first seep of red began to darken, imprinting itself on to the mocha color. Sighing in content, he stopped.

The coolness was lifted off. Skeppy felt warmth bloom all over him again. The warmth was temporary, he knows that but it doesn't hurt to feel comfortable in ways nobody ever expected to be besides nothing can ever comfort him like this. Not even Bad.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be much longer but then my mind blackout so it was cut short.


End file.
